Should I contact this person?

Let me tell the full story. I have known this person since 2008. We had a relationship very intense, but at that time he worked outside of state and I have a son and did not want to place myself in that situation of just jumping with him. So, technically I am the one that ended everything. We always kept in touch. And the erie thing is even if months go by I will have a dream or premonition that there is something wrong with him. I had a dream he got injured at work. I was later able to get a holdd of him and to my surprise I was right! Last time I saw him was July, he commented he had a gf, so I made up a bf (stupid I know) but It was my only way to cope and not sound desperate. He told me that he loved me and that he had never loved anyone like me. Needless to say we had a great time, but he left again. I haven't spoken to him since. In Jan, I had a feeling to search for him. I was worried, but couldn't remember his number and never got ahold of him. I started having this feeling again this past week that there is something wrong with him. The only communication I can have his to call his mother, which I have never met or spoken to. I'm just wondering if he would get angry I am going all the way to calling his mother? Or Would i just look desperate?